The Reasons I Write
From the desk of Weird ≡ Eccentrically Wired
I’ve already mostly prepared one self-published … object?
(Please ask me about paying editors that don’t edit and Senior Publishing Experts that send back more errors each time they “fix” your manuscript.)
How does one describe a compilation of one’s internal rooms written and drawn and painted and spoken etc.?
It is in book form and the easiest way to describe the writing is essay poetry. There are also drawings, sketches, paintings and photography included because it is as much visual as verbal. My corpus callosum is not so much the gatekeeper as others’ are.
Pathological Demand Avoidance as explained by Schrodinger's equation of Pandora's box, 2023
pen, watercolor, graphite, pastel on 90 lb paper
9x12"
A synopsis/summary of it would be:
“The journey of diagnosis through chronic illness is not an easy road; add neurodivergence and you have an overwhelming, anxiety producing, shemozzle.
Even though it is difficult daily, my life does not consist only of pain and problems. Your greatest weakness may also be a strength. My experiences help me see the world with a different perspective than many.
When you don’t have many good days/moments, you learn to seek out and thoroughly enjoy any opportunity you can - a meal with friends, sunrises and sunsets, the flowers in the ditch, and lichen and bugs and all of the wonderful treasures right in front of your nose. Don’t take them for granted.
Here is a little bit of the process through all of the thoughts and feelings involved. Skip anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. It’s not meant to make it worse.
Here am I, here you may be too. We’ll sit here together for a minute. Feel the feelings. Move forward to something more positive. Return if you need to.
I’ll be waiting for you.”
It covers the period from 2018 to 2023.
This Substack will continue the journey, or series.
When trying to figure out a description for this continuance of writings and drawings I went through several iterations: Conversations with Strangers … One-sided Conversations … but they didn’t really express the correct feeling.
As much as the people I am “conversing” with are strangers, in a sense, it felt permanent, in label, to call them such - as if we could never be acquainted, be friends - and that didn’t feel right. The point of conversing is to express one’s own mind and come to know the mind of another, in so doing it would be hard to remain strangers, though one’s opinion easily could continue ‘strange’.
One-sided, in some of its definitions, is not the word I was going for either (words with more than one meaning can be tricky because I may mean that I am the only one talking, but by definition, someone could think I meant I only care to listen to myself).
But conversation is actually the perfect word, from its very beginning.
This is my internal dwelling place, where all of the input gets parsed and becomes output, self in speech. Unfortunately there is not always someone there to share these thoughts with. In person.
That doesn’t mean that they can’t be read, heard and then commented on.
Internal conversations shared provide the possibility of mutual comprehension and external conversation.
Eventually they may be compiled into another object for publication.
If the first one ever gets finished…
Hello darling human. This substack is part of my income stream. Many of my posts are free but your paid subscription ($50/year) means I don’t have to worry about groceries for one week out of the year. That’s pretty huge for me!!! Thank you!!!